sometimes i wonder why in the heck i am where i am..... and then i hit myself upside the head and realize that i am in control of my own journey and only mine. am i sad that i am going through a divorce yet again? yes am i embaressed that i am? yes am i devastated? yes
that does not mean though that I am not seeing happiness and aware of all the good that I have in my life. I have been blessed immensely since August. reuniting with Jeff, the placements i have received in nursing school, my children's health and happiness, my own cloud beginning to lift.
there are days when i don't understand why the most recent Marr..... didnt work, i will never be able to speak for the other party or understand his motives, that is a fact. the lies and deceit that has spanned 3.5 yrs has taken its toll on my ability to trust, to believe in what someone is saying and that will take time i know.
for now i shall keep on trucking, writing papers, making lunches, having play dates, clipping 4 sets of toenails and nursing.
